Sexual Healing: Good Advice From A Bad Girl

This is not your mother's sex advice column. I'll tell you upfront that I’m kinky and my answers to your questions won’t be your standard, vanilla responses. So who am I? Just a kinky girl with an appetite for sex, a good deal of experience, and the desire to help others enjoy sex the way I do. Email me your sex and relationship questions. I can't respond to all of them, but I will post the question along with my response. Feel free to comment or add your own experience.

July 31, 2005

At last, a question!

Here's a question for you: what do you think about the subject matter of this person's blog entry? http://amourosity.blogspot.com/2005/07/blood-sex-magic.html

Love your blog!

Miss B.


For those of you too lazy to click the link, Amourosity is the blog of a blogger named Lighterate, and the entry in question deals with intercourse and oral sex with a woman during her period. Lighterate, newly added to my list of really cool men, believes that menstruation shouldn't prevent sexual activity ... or cunnilingus. His little treatise is well worth a read, and I love that he's figured out what seems to be "secret" information about women, their response to each month's visit from Aunt Flo, and the fun that can still be had.

The two most important issues raised by Lighterate, I believe, are the ideas that a lot of women are horny during their period, and that going down on a woman at that time of the month doesn't result in a mouth or face full of period blood.

I for one am always horny the first day of my period. (Some people would say I'm always horny, but I do note an increase the first day). Day two for me involves severe cramping, but once that goes away, I'm back to an increased horn. Something NOT mentioned by Lighterate, who wouldn't have known this not experiencing it first hand, is that orgasm can be an incredible cramp reliever. Aggressive fucking might not be the best idea for a cramping woman, but a nice orgasm brought on manually, orally, or with our friends the Acuvibe or Magic Wand, might be just what she needs to make her stop feeling like her uterus is trying to crawl out of her body. Not every woman experiences a Period Horn. Most of the women I know do.

"Ewww, going down on a woman on the rag is gross and messy" you say?

Gross, maybe. That's entirely subjective. Messy? Not so much. You know how the clit is a couple of inches away from the pussy opening? And you know how, when you're licking a woman's clit, or sucking it, or nibbling on it very gently, your tongue, lips and teeth don't generally contact the mouth of her pussy? Well ... What makes you think you're going to pull a Dracula and gulp gallons of blood? (I should point out now that women don't lose a gallon over the course of an entire period, let alone during one sexual encounter). When I've given head to a woman on her period, the most I got was a tiny amount of menstrual blood on my chin; nothing to complain about, and certainly not worth abstaining over.

Penetration during a period is more messy, but the mess is easily solved, as Lighterate points out, by laying a towel beneath the woman. Personal experience has taught me black towels are the way to go. Condoms can be placed on cocks (real and toy), latex and nitrile gloves worn on hands. I personally got quite a thrill when after a spirited on-the-rag fucking, I noted blood on my lover's thighs. Even though she'd long since lost her virginity, seeing the blood there made me feel like I'd just deflowered her, and the feeling was just too delicious for words.

The one fault I have with Lighterate's blog entry is that no where does he mention the risk of contracting an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection ... 'disease' is no longer PC). All sexual contact involving blood carries this risk. I for one advocate earning one's Red Wings only with a fluid-bonded partner whose STI status you are sure of. However, given our discussion of the relative lack of blood transferred to the partner giving head, it is one of the less risky of possible risky behaviors. As for fucking, if you are concerned about STI prevention, a condom should be used for penile insertion, latex or nitrile gloves for fingering or manual stimulation (that's always true, period or not).

So, Miss B, to your question "what do I think about the subject matter of this person's blog entry?" I have to say, I think that it is a shame Lighterate lives in the Ukraine ... I might consider marrying him if he were local. I would definitely consider fucking him during my period.

July 27, 2005

Quick Sex Tip of the Day - "he's uncut, what do I do??"

So, you grew up in the U.S., you've only been with men who are circumsized, and your new man/lover/fuck buddy/NSA hook-up is not. What do you do? Is there some special technique? Is he more sensitive? Are you going to hurt him?

The truth is, you tend to only notice the difference when it's soft, because when fully erect, there isn't much difference between a circumsized and uncircumsized cock, aesthetically or in terms of touch. There is slightly more give to the skin on the shaft of the penis when it's hard, if the guy is uncircumsized, but that's about all the difference you are going to notice.

If all else fails, ask him. Ask him to show you how he likes his cock stroked. Tell him you'd like him to give you pointers while you're blowing him. These are good things to do with any new lover, but particularly if you are new to an uncut cock. Trust me, he'll find your interest hot. Think of it this way: what's not to like about a lover that wants to know exactly how you like it?*

In terms of sensitivity -- medical science is still divided on the question of whether uncircumsized men are more sensitive than men who have been circumsized. Some studies conclude there is diminished sensitivity for circumsized men, some indicate no difference

Are you going to hurt him? I'm fairly certain he'll let you know if you do. Depending on what you're into ... maybe hurting him wouldn't be such a bad thing?





*being able to adapt to your partner's preferences is, in my opinion, one of the big secrets of being a good lover

July 07, 2005

Quick Sex Tip of the Day: Plushies vs. Furries

Furries are people who like to dress up as animals, in animal suits, or take on the persona of an animal as part of their sex play. There is some debate here, as some Furries who prefer the anthropomorphic aspects of the play do not like being lumped in with people who are inside Mickey & Minnie, having sex with the costumes on. I think they all belong in the same group. It's always strange to me when a subset group tries to exclude a set of their own group who are slightly different than they are.

Plushies, on the other hand, incorporate the use of stuffed animals and plush toys into their sex play.

Basically, it's like this: Furries want to be animals. Plushies want to play with plush representations of animals.

July 01, 2005

Quick Sex Tip - Homemade Butt-Plugs

If for instance, you feel the need for figging, or need a butt-plug like item and don't have one handy, make sure the ginger (figging) or whatever you make has a large enough flange that the plug cannot slip up into the anus.

If you still end up with a make-shift plug all the way in you, and it doesn't want to come out, lube up two fingers really well and try to fish it out of yourself, or have someone do it for you. Go slow and be gentle. If it hurts and/or you notice blood and it still won't come out, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. It will be embarassing, yes, but know that ER doctors fish items from people's rectums with great regularity. You may end up a "this person came in with _________ stuck in their ass" statistic. But you won't do yourself any permanent (physical) damage.