Web Dating - Fantasy vs. Reality

Hello,

I met this girl online in early may, we ended up talking online very very, much. We decided we liked each other, but she didn't want a long distance relationship. So around late may I found out she had a web cam, so I went and bought one. So just about every day, we would talk and chat with the web cam on, to make it feel more real. Then we started masturbating to each other on the web cams, pretty much every night. Then she'd say stuff to me like "I'm going to take your virginity" etc.

So around early July I decide I like this girl so much, and I fly out to see her for 2 weeks. So I'm there and the first night, (mind you I'm a virgin and have no experience with pussy at all) she has me start rubbing her clit, and then like 5 minutes later I go and start licking her clit. I'd say around 20 minutes later she orgasms, and it felt like she squirted on my face, but I'm not sure. And that's all we do that night.

Then the 2nd night I'm there, I start rubbing her clit again, then lick her clit again for about the same amount of time and she orgasms, then I finger her vagina for around 10 minutes, and that's all there was that night. Then the 3rd night was the same as the 2nd but I sucked on her nipples and played with her boobs, but that's all we did. Then the 4th night I end up licking her clit and fingering her vagina at the same time for about an hour and a half, and she has this amazing orgasm, and that's all we did that night.

Then the rest of the time I was there after that, there wasn't anything sexual, and she started to treat me very rudely. I'm just wondering why wouldn't she do anything to me? or Why wouldn't she have sex with me? I've been in a very hard depression ever since, and me and her hardly talk now.


You poor thing.

You just found out one of the ways internet dating can go wrong.

Why wouldn't she fuck you or give you any reciprocal pleasure? Who knows. Maybe she wasn't attracted to you in person. Maybe she found your attentions too amateurish and after a couple of attempts didn't want to try again, or go any further. Maybe she's a selfish bitch who uses impressionable guys. Maybe she's confused, and young, and doesn't know what the fuck she's doing when something isn't what she expected and hasn't figured out to treat other people in those situations.

The point is, why doesn't really matter. It's possible you will never know. It happened, and it hurt you. You put a lot of effort into fashioning a relationship with her online and over the phone. Through your interaction, you both built up idealized versions of each other based in part on projection of your needs onto each other. You shared a joint fantasy about what a potential relationship would be like. The reality, as it often is, was different, and in the heat of the moment, you had not considered that as a possible outcome.

It's okay for you to feel badly about the way things turned out. She didn't behave well. But you need to reflect a bit and acknowledge that what you lost was, at least in part, a fantasy. Sad, certainly, but not something to fall into a sustained depression over. I'm guessing you're fairly young, and that being the case, you will have plenty of opportunity to find a girl with whom to have a relationship, who won't just take advantage of you and then become non-communicative.

The one big lesson for you to take away from this is that while romances built on the internet can turn into to loving, lasting relationships, true chemistry, attraction and compatibility can't be gauged until you spend real time with someone.