Don't Judge a Book Bi its Cover -- or Marketing.

About 2 years ago, I had sex with a close, lesbian friend of mine who said that she "just needed some dick." We're still good friends, and I occasionally suck her off, but we haven't had dick/pussy sex since that one time. I sort of would like to fuck her again, yes, but I'd rather not press the issue. I'm happy with our relationship as it is, don't want to jeopardize it -- you know the drill. Nevertheless, I must say that the thought of having sex (not necessarily fucking) with other lesbians gives me a total boner.

Sucking a mean pussy -- being roughed up, denied air, objectified, and abused when I'm down there -- is really what I fantasize about. My question is this: where can I go to find lesbians that would be receptive to this kind of thing? I'm extremely hesitant to enter a lesbian bar, as I'm under the strong impression that I would be crossing a line. In addition, I don't want to tag along with my friend to a gay bar, either. Although even-tempered, she might be hurt or insulted by the request. I'd honestly rather leave her out of it. (Until I awkwardly encounter her at some sordid sex-event, right?)

So, to sum it up: my desire to experiment and explore does not jibe with the fact that lesbians don't necessarily like sex with men. I like to give head to, and fuck, women that are aggressive, especially lesbians. Do you know of any applicable resources I might utilize?

And yes, I have a girlfriend of 6 years. She is aware of my lusts, as I am aware of her lusting after gay boys. The lusts compliment each other, we feel. She, in typical womanly fashion, is not as eager to act on her personal peccadillo. Concerning my continuing fantasy, she is occasionally turned on by it. For the most part, I’m under the impression that she thinks it’s just somewhat cute.

Thanks for your time!

Labels, schmabels. Your lesbian friend is bi, or at least passingly hetero-curious. There are some lesbians who would consider her a traitor for getting nekkid and naughty with you. I think those women are missing Kinsey's point -- most people fall on a range somewhere in between fully heterosexual and fully homosexual. This is clearly true of your friend. If all she wanted was dick, and not, at least to some extent, the man attached to the dick -- I'm sure she has one or two in a drawer she could have used.

And clearly she's confusing the hell out of you. The fact of the matter is, most "lesbians" don't want to have romantic relationships or sexual relationships with men, no matter how many girl-on-girl pornos end up with a 3-way with the pool boy or construction worker who happens to walk in and *cue porno guitar* whip out his cock. Lesbians aren't two pieces of bread waiting for the meat to make the sandwich complete: think of them as vegetarians. They don't want what's in your (male) pants. Even if they play with plastic, silicone, rubber, glass, acrylic or organic (like a cucumber) facsimiles thereof.

So, now that we've established that about her, let's talk about what's going on with you.

I've read your question several times. I shared it with a friend, because I was curious to see if my initial reaction was skewed by my own submissive nature. My friend put it much more concisely than I'd been thinking of it, but he did echo my suspicion: "It sounds like he wants a Domme, not a Dyke".

I don't get the sense from the way you've written your question that you've fetishized lesbians in the way that most men who fixate on fucking lesbians have: you're not trying to convert them, or boldly go where no man has gone before. You seem to understand that your desire isn't going to be well received by many lesbians, and you appear to respect them and their orientation.

So that leads me to conclude what you like about it is the humiliation. The idea that you're being used, treated like not much more than a piece of meat: a glorified dildo attached to a body. There for her pleasure, when and if she wants it, with no rights to claim or ask for more. You don't need to chase after women who only want other women to find a woman who can dominate you. So get the "I need to be dominated by a lesbian" thought out of your head, and find yourself a Femme Domme, preferably one who is bi, and roleplay that "being used as a lesbian's fucktoy" fantasy. Let her rough you up, smother you with her cunt, objectify and humiliate you for being such a bad boy.

I have the same reaction to your discussion of your girlfriend's desire to top a couple of gay boys.

Shades of gray! Bisexuality! Learn it, live it, love it!

I think what you're both attracted to is not so much the off-limits orientation of these people (because you'd never get any!), but perceived notions of personality traits those people embody for you both. Rather than lust after what you can't ever have, she can certainly find guys who are bi or straight who possess whatever aspects of gay men she finds attractive (short of being exclusively gay), and you can certainly find Dommey-butch women who aren't exclusively pitching for the home team.